Gossip is noise, a distraction, a petty indulgence that is best avoided.

It is never neutral, but rather a siren song that is alluring and reassuring on the surface, but ultimately deceptive and destructive.

We understand the risk of revealing secrets that are not ours to tell, knowing that even well-meaning whispers can stir division.

However, gossip can also be the glue of social life, providing important information when we need to navigate power, avoid harm or build trust in the absence of reliable, formal channels.

It is information that is passed sideways, when speaking publicly can be unsafe or ill-advised.

Still, even with the best of intentions, gossip carries a charge and most people recognise the harm embedded in the sharing of secrets. There is always a tacit acceptance that the exchange is being used to wound, exclude or control.

In my experience, most workplaces run on gossip, where it announces its presence in the subtle undercurrent of openly shared statements like “we should really touch base” or “we need to circle back on that conversation.”

Such statements allow for the downplaying of gossip, framing it as casual talk or an opportunity to provide additional facts.

It is not the polished, carefully crafted language of staff meetings or discoverable emails, but rather a special indulgence that is shared over coffee, at an appropriate distance from attentive ears. It is hurt feelings, insecurities and self-doubt, packaged as insight.

Of course, gossip flows differently depending on who speaks, with power relations deciding what speech is valid and what speech is dangerous.

This is the gossip paradox where it can be dismissed as lies or imagination when it reveals too much about those in power, but can be embraced when it serves their interests.

Indeed, whether something is defined as “gossip” or “information” is largely dependent on who benefits from its existence.

Therefore, to fully comprehend gossip it is necessary to ask the question, “Why does gossip exist?”

Often, it exists to fill the space where transparency is lacking, where trust has broken down and where information is absent.

It holds a mirror to the culture where it exists, often being a sign of decay, hypocrisy and flawed expectations, where backbiting, conflict, envy and murmurs have become everyday occurrences.

For this reason, it is not possible to ban gossip as it is merely a symptom of a deeper issue, which reveals who is being protected and what is being avoided.

Like any language, gossip can soothe or expose, protect or provoke, but we should never fail to understand what it is actually saying.