We often mistake dissatisfaction for a character flaw or as the product of some unfortunate set of circumstances.

Our dissatisfaction is explained away as a rough patch, a restless phase, or a bad week, but beneath the surface, there is something more structural and persistent.

When dissatisfaction is not a passing mood, it becomes a default setting that hums quietly in the background, shaping how we see ourselves, others and the world.

We wake up with the feeling we should be further ahead.

We compare ourselves to others and come up short.

We move through our days believing we should be happier.

This dissatisfaction is rarely questioned and is often viewed as a necessary precursor for self-improvement. We are encouraged to think that, without feeling dissatisfied, there is no need to grow.

But this logic is flawed.

A mind that is overwhelmed by dissatisfaction has no capacity for rest. Small victories are dismissed, and compliments are deflected. The voice that says “you’re not enough” is never satisfied, and when you succeed, it simply moves the goalposts.

There is also a social layer, driven by a constant stream of content that suggests you are missing something. You should have a better job, body, or car. There is a better version of you just waiting to be repackaged, revealed and unleashed.

Marketing depends on it, social media amplifies it, and we chase it. Not meaning or insight, but momentary relief from the gnawing feeling that something is amiss, and we are incomplete.

But we will not solve dissatisfaction by getting more.

It is only resolved by relating differently to what already is, which begins with noticing the constant motion of our mind and what it is we are grasping at, or resisting.

To begin, we can learn to sit with our dissatisfaction and not immediately fix it.

A daily gratitude practice is also helpful. It assists by redirecting our attention so that we might observe, settle and make space for something other than thoughts of grasping and resisting.

Welcoming dissatisfaction also helps. Not because pain is noble, but because difficulty is an unavoidable aspect of life. Expecting things to be smooth and maintaining the belief that there should be an unbroken upward trajectory in life will only entrench dissatisfaction.

When we treat dissatisfaction as an anomaly, we can suffer. If we treat it as an unremarkable, repeating part of life, we adapt.

We must also stop believing that dissatisfaction is needed for personal growth. Growth does not require self-rejection, and if it is to be sustainable, it should emerge from acts of care rather than critique.

Dissatisfaction may be common, but should not be a constant.

We must resist the urge to chase something better and start inhabiting what we already have.